Tantrum Quantum

My baby threw a tantrum, and I was there to catch the darn thing.

It's 1 pm. The usual time for his afternoon nap. But today, he wanted to get his way. So the brat decided to act out.  He is a genius in the art form.   He has no qualms in using this weapon when it helps achieve the end for which he thinks he was created: to piss off his parents.  The Jesuits follow the same principle.  Tantum quantum. In so far as it helps. My, my. Kid's just 5 but he's already on the road to sainthood.

"Nap time!" I told him.  "No!" he snapped.   "No TV," I threatened.  He glared at me before marching up the stairs. Score 1 for mommy. Baby - 0.   He lay down on his bed, but refused to stay still. He kept tossing and turning, tossing and turning, while I inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, exhaled, certain that in about 20 minutes he'd grow tired of his game and doze off. He didn't. Time to change tactic, I decided. So I started rubbing his back, while singing his favorite lullaby to lull him to sleep.   He started mimicking me, but making a rap version of my song.  "Stop that!" I told him. "Stop that!" he echoed. "If you don't stop it, no TV!" I retorted, smelling my victory already at hand. For a split second, defiance was written allover his face. Ha, ha!  Who's the bigger brat now?!  Then all of a sudden, the floodgates opened.  He just needed to turn on a switch, the brat.  The wailing and flailing began. The way he did it, the whole neighborhood would believe I'm physically abusing him!  I ordered him to shush.  He ignored me, and added stomping to his repertoire.

Usually, it's a fight to the death between us.  Me hurling more threats, him crying louder.  But it has been a long week.  I was tired, and menstruating.  I just wanted to be alone in my bedroom and figure out a way to get past 23 flags in Plants & Zombie, survival endless mode.  So I did what any mature woman would do in that kind of situation. I threw in the towel.  "Wanna watch Disney Junior with ate?" I asked politely.

He stared at me for a few seconds, and almost immediately the crying stopped.  Then he flashed his impish grin.  He knew he won.  Damn, he's good.


Well...he may have won this battle, but not the war, certainly not.  I may have retreated, but only temporarily - it's the cramping that did me in I know.  I'll be back with a vengeance, he'll see.   The li'l imp better watch his back.